Latest Posts

The Dreamers

pp.001.jpeg

”Yes, I’m drunk, and you’re beautiful. And tomorrow morning, I’ll be sober, but you’ll still be beautiful” – The Dreamers (2003)

September 13th, 2016

Everyone has already started college, but for me was still the end of the summer. I’ve just decided that I was not going to college this fall, and it was both scary and exciting. I had so many ideas on my mind, so many things I wanted to do, and going to college and sitting there 6 hours per day wasn’t one of them.

My friend Maria and I decided to do a photoshoot since neither of us had college. We ate noodles and sushi in the middle of the street, while we talked about old fashion muses.

1.001.jpeg

The good thing about shooting with Maria is that you can strike any pose and she won’t think it’s weird, we kind of have the same mind.

2-0012-002

We kept taking picture after picture, walking around the park, talking about street fashion through decades… We love to talk about fashion and things that we love, and it’s funny because we only talk about these things to each other.

3-0013-002

And lastly it was golden hour and the sun looked beautiful. I remember telling Maria, ”Put on your glasses and walk, the sun looks beautiful behind you.” And she did, and it was the intro for my video.

4-001

Maria took some photos of me with one of my favorite books, Lolita from Vladimir Nabokov, it’s a classic.

4-002

I don’t think I’ll get over his smile. To be honest, I don’t want to.4-0034-004

Heart To Heart

Dear lovely readers,

When I did the blog post “But I’m Not Anorexic”   I was very scared to post it. I’m not good at being vulnerable and letting people know what’s going on in my life but after receiving a lot of messages from you on daily basis telling me that you also have eating problems, or that your friend is going through a bad time, I thought I needed to do a little heart to heart.

mixed_texture_by_defreve-d47p9s0

My Mental Health

I started having anxiety when my parents separated. I didn’t know what it was but every time I was sad or nervous I would get this weird ache in my chest and my whole body would collapse. It wasn’t until a year after when I had my first panic attack on the bathroom floor of my Irish host family that I knew something was wrong.

When my parents told me they were taking some time apart I didn’t really get it. I grew up in a very Catholic environment, it wasn’t something that happened every day around me. I moved with my mom, and well let’s just say that my dad got out of the picture. And it wasn’t until two years later, with a lot of family drama and traumatic experiences, that my parents decided to get a divorce. My 4 siblings and I had to be in the same room as them when they signed the papers. We had to witness my mom shouting at my dad while he laughed and other things that I really wish I could forget. The day after that I had to go to school like nothing ever happened. Hell, I had to go to school every single day even if my fucking world was falling apart.

My depression, anxiety and eating disorder all started at different times, but they all joined together for about a year and a half. It wasn’t a great time. I really feel like I lost a huge part of my youth to that.

I didn’t complain about moving from my childhood home to a little flat 2 hours away from my school. I didn’t complain when I had to catch 2 trains to go to school every single morning and afternoon. I didn’t complain about having to go for a year to another country by myself. I didn’t complain when my parents decided to give their marriage another try and move in together again without even consulting their kids because I was the only one living at home since all my other siblings are much older than me. I was the one who had to witness my mom screaming at my dad for cheating, and him calling her a crazy maniac bitch. I was the one who had to suffer my mom’s depression and anger. I was the one who had to work or steal to buy things for myself. I never once complained about how other people who were in my life treated me like shit or used me because like they say, that is all my fault.

Having suicidal thoughts or hurting myself was something I did on daily basis when I was 15-16. I still have scars that proof that even though I may seem weak I’m strong as hell.

imageedit_1_8689940009

Eating Disorder

I think I’m at a point in my life where I can talk about this without feeling triggered. I started having eating problems when I was 14, and it wasn’t till I was 17 that I realized that I needed to change my mindset or otherwise I would end up killing myself.

I’ve never taken pictures of my naked body before. Before every time I had to take a shower,  I would stare in front of the mirror and start crying, or take my clothes off and jump straight into the shower avoiding the mirror, and when days were really bad I would shower with clothes on to avoid looking at my body.

Thinking back to all the things I did to myself in order to look “beautiful” makes me pretty sad because I’ve been my worst enemy for many years, and if I could do anything for my teenage self I would give her a hug, because she sure as hell needed one and also because she never listened to anyone so giving her advice would be stupid.

Starving myself or binge eating was never the solution, but of course, I didn’t know that at that time.

Now I’m healthy. I still have some slips here and there but I can actually sit down and enjoy a meal without feeling guilty. I actually like my body and myself. I love my mind and I’m thankful for having a healthy body.

1.001.jpeg

imageedit_1_8689940009

Feeling Lonely

I’ve never had a constant group of friends. I’ve had friends that I’ve known since I was 5 and friends who I’ve been through a lot of shit together (aka my sophomore year of high school) but I’ve never had a person who I could always rely on for several years.

I like being with people. I love going out and meeting new people, but I hate what comes after. I’m not good with intimacy or being vulnerable. I’m not good with feelings, or talking about them, even though I would love to! I’m sensible, I’m an empath and I cry easily, it’s not like I’m a robot without feelings.

Late last year I met a boy. Every single time a boy showed interest in me or asked me out I would turn them down because like I said, I’m not good with relationships of any kind. But I fell hard for this boy, hard and fast. We met on a Friday night in one of my favorite spots of Barcelona. I was sitting in the middle of the street (at 11 pm, don’t do that kids) writing in my journal and listening to music, when this boy came, sat next to me, lit a cigarette and then started smoking it without saying a word. We sat there, two complete strangers, for about five minutes till I finally asked him what the hell was he doing, and he said that he was quitting smoking and that the only occasion he could smoke was on social gatherings, so basically he made an excuse to himself for smoking by sitting next to me. I laughed and smiled to myself because that’s something my sister would say. We talked for a bit and he invited me to a party and even though I said no he kept talking to me. He asked for my number and even though I said no he walked me to the metro station. He said see you soon and left with a smile on his face. And while he was walking away he lit another cigarette. For the next three Friday’s he would be there, in the same spot we met, smoking a cigarette waiting for me. It didn’t take long for us to start liking each other, but sadly, it didn’t end up well.

I know you probably don’t want to hear a love story and a heartbreak so don’t worry I’m not going to talk about it.

I really learned a lot from that. You can be with a group of friends hanging out, or with your boyfriend, or having dinner with your family, but when all of that is gone you’re left with your thoughts and worries. Don’t try to build yourself around other people because at the end of the day you’re left all alone.

 

☾Check out my Instagram @tereromances , Tumblr lost-bohemian.tumblr.com , Youtube Channel youtube.com/tereromances and Twitter @tereromances

August Rewind

What a month. When August comes around every resident from Barcelona tends to get away from the city, it’s the more touristy month of the year. Spain is one of the top 10 countries of tourism, and Barcelona is number one in Spain so you can imagine how packed the city is around this time.

imageedit_1_8689940009

reading.001

– #GIRLBOSS: Okay, I LOVE THIS BOOK. The reason why it took me so long to read it was because I always saw beauty gurus with this book on their tables or Instagrams and I thought if they like it, I won’t. But since I want to start a vintage shop I was looking for some advice and I ended up reading this book, AMAZING!

– The Messy Heads Issue 3: I don’t know if this is my favorite one, it sure is the more nostalgic one. Emma’s story at the beginning is beautiful.

 

enthusiast by.001

– Photoshoots: I’ve been doing a lot of photoshoots this month, you can check two of them here and here.  And I have some exciting things that will start happening at the end of the year… it has something to do with modeling 😉

 

wearing.001

– Bowie Baret: Another addition to my hat collection. I’ve been a Bowie fan since I can remember, another tribute to him.

bowie.001.jpeg

– Bikini: This has been my favorite bikini combo this year. The top is from Oysho and the bottoms are from Motel

1.001.jpeg

– Kurt Cobain Sunglasses: I have them in pink and white, they make any outfit look retro.

4.001

 

internet.001

V I D E O S

– La Niña Morada: If you don’t know this YouTuber she is an amazing latina living in LA who makes groovy thrift hauls and short films.

 

– Buzzfeed Unsolved: Fun fact, when I was choosing my “future”, aka when school forces you to choose something, one of my future options was criminology.

– Claire Michelle: Not one, but two amazing videos. Just lay in your bed and listen to her talk about her life and how she is living her dream life.

new.001

– Books: I bought a LOT of books and I was thinking I should do a book haul maybe? Should I do a blog post or video?

– Meditation Pants: I bought some trousers from Princess Polly because everyone is always talking about them, and well, the quality sucks, but the trousers are beautiful but not worth the price.

IMG_9064.jpg

4.001

– Star Sky Night Lamp: Let me tell you a story. When I was 5 I wanted to be an astronomer, it has always been my dream since I was a kid to be an astronomer. I bought stars that you would stick to your wall and they would shine at night. I would play my mixtape of all Bowie’s songs (yes, I used a walkman) and I would drift to sleep looking at the stars in my ceiling and wall while listening to Bowie talk about a Grand Control trying to talk with Major Tom. Now I’ve bought a night lamp that illuminates stars in a lot of different colors, but I also play Bowie, some things never change.

1.001.jpeg

doing.001

– Cerdanya: I went to the Pyrenees for 4 days, here’s the video if you want to see it.

 

– Ireland: As I’m writing this blog post I’m still wearing my airport clothes and have my suitcase at my door. I’m going to upload the video soon I promise, and I’m also thinking about doing a blog post about this trip, would you like to see that?

☾Check out my Instagram @tereromances , Tumblr lost-bohemian.tumblr.com , Youtube Channel youtube.com/tereromances and Twitter @tereromances 

Terrorist Attack in Barcelona

Right now, as I’m writing this, I’m shaking and still very shocked and confused so please excuse my typos.

My brother sent us a message to our family group chat around 5 pm saying that he believes there’s has been an accident in La Boqueria (a market in the center of Barcelona). He lives next to where the attack happened so you can imagine how shaken I was about this.

IMG_8959

We started exchanging messages asking what happened, and when we discover that a van crashed into people we decide to watch the news.

My brother keeps us updated in real time of what is happening because he can hear and see everything. They are not allowing anyone to go outside or near the zone.

After an hour or so the police confirm it has been a terrorist attack.

Screen Shot 2017-08-17 at 19.10.56


The fact that this has happened in Barcelona, exactly 30 years and 2 months after our worst terrorist attack ever, is heartbreaking. The fact that this is happening in the city I was born and raised in, where I’ve lived in nearly 19 years of my life.

And to all the people sharing pictures and videos of the victims, STOP POSTING VIDEOS OF THE VICTIMS, THEY HAVE FAMILIES AND IT’S DISRESPECTFUL

I’m writing this to let you know that I’m okay, thank you so much to all the people who were concerned for me, it really warms my heart that friends I’ve made online care so much for me❤

I’ve been watching the news since 5 pm today and I’m still shocked. I still can’t believe this has happened. Barcelona right now is a compelete chaos and it makes my heart bleed.

Please pray for us, the victims and their families and my city. 

Verano

Tuesday, August 8th 2017

1.001.jpeg

no other person on this planet was made for you, they were made for themselves. love is all about choices. no one is going to be perfect for you, and i think we need to stop raising everyone on the belief that someone out there, just one other person in the whole world, was “made for you” because it isn’t true. no one is made for you, besides you. other people belong to themselves. if you want to make it work with someone, it’s about hard work, understanding, compassion, communication, and choice.

4.001.jpeg

if you miss someone who does not miss you, or who is no good for you, or is unattainable, take all the love you once felt for them and spread it around other places. put your love in worthwhile people and things, turn the romance in to passions for hobbies or admiration for others- enrich your own life. focus on yourself and those who actively make you happy.

2.001

Sensitive souls don’t have it easy in this cruel world.

4.001.jpeg

There’s no use dwelling on what could have been… It’s not a reality, nor will it ever be. It may have been a hope, a dream or a possibility once – but now it exists only in your mind.

5.001.jpeg

I know we can’t seem to catch a break. And sometimes it feels like the whole universe is conspiring against us.

3.001.jpeg

Be careful who you make memories with. Those things can last a lifetime.

1.001.jpeg

☾Check out my Instagram @tereromances , Tumblr lost-bohemian.tumblr.com , Youtube Channel youtube.com/tereromances and Twitter @tereromances 

I Made You A Mixtape #3

 ☆ Here is number one and number two ☆

guateque.001

A lot of you have been asking me to do a playlist with Spanish music to party, reggaeton music especially. I listen to old school reggaeton (like all the music I listen to let’s be honest) so here is a playlist and a mixtape with some Spanish music or songs sang by Spanish/Latin singers. And well there’s also some disco American music so ignore those lol.

 

1.001

2.001

3.001.jpeg

July Rewind

reading.001

-And Then There Were None: My favorite book by Agatha Christie. Her books were the books that got me into literature and made me fall in love with reading. 

517gZ2MjULL._SX309_BO1,204,203,200_

 

enthusiast by.001

-Selling my clothes on Depop: I’m going to start selling my clothes on Depop! Check out my profile, everything will be under 10€ (I’ll continue listing items through out the week)

 

wearing.001

-Sandals: It’s so weird for me to wear something that are not boots. My mom was so tired of seeing me wear boots during summer so she offered to buy me sandals, so gracias mama!

IMG_7399

 

internet.001

I N S T A / Y O U T U B E

-vanellimelliI’ve already talked about her but this past month I’ve really fallen in love with her photos and videos. I discovered she has a YouTube channel and I’ve watched all her videos this past month, and that says a lot since most of her videos are in German without subtitles and I couldn’t understand shit.

-sonyaesmanBeautiful girl with a beautiful soul. She sadly doesn’t make a lot of videos but the ones she has are amazing. Her Q&A’s are amazing. The way this girl can talk about any subject is amazing. And well, she is also a Gemini! She has a Russian and English channel.

 

 

M U S I C

-New Skin For The Old Ceremony Album: Sadly last year this great man was taken from this world, but his music will always be eternal for me. My favorite songs from this album are Is This What You Wanted, Chelsea Hotel #2 and A Singer Must Die.

 

-Lust For Life Album: Lana’s new album! My favorite ones are Love and Beautiful People Beautiful Problems. My favorite songs from this album are Love, Beautiful People Beautiful Problems, Change and Get Free.

 

M O V I E S

-Dunkirk: The first ten minutes of the movie are what really amazed me. No dialogue, not super special edits, just some soldiers trying to get into a boat. Christopher Nolan did another masterpiece. I actually saw this movie in a 70mm celluloid format and it made the experience a hundred times better.

 

-Baby Driver: The soundtrack is amazing! Ansel Elgort did an amazing job.

-War For The Planet Of The Apes: This movie left me empty… Not my kind of movie.

-Movie Recommendation Blog Post: I’ve made two already, you can see the first and the second one here.

 

B L O G 

Samera Paz: Thanks Abby for introducing this amazing blog to me.  The blog Abuela’s House is a work of art. The picture where the mother was crying in the bathroom saying: “Take my fucking picture. I want to remember this. I want to remember what he did to me” really gets to me because it brings back bad memories.

 

new.001

-Try-On Haul: I made a Summer try-on haul on my YouTube channel.

-Disposable Cameras: I bought two disposable cameras again! I made a blog post from the last photos I made with disposable cameras.

 

doing.001

-Lost Bohemian, Ep.9: Another vlog. I actually edited this one differently just to try something out.

☾Check out my instagram @tereromances , tumblr lost-bohemian.tumblr.com , youtube channel youtube.com/tereromances and twitter @tereromances 

tere-romances-001